Desire Is the Truth of It: Jacques Lacan and Wanting Wanting

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Conner Habib’s series The Sex Radicals will be appearing regularly this summer on Reality Sandwich. 

 

“What does it matter how many lovers you have if none of them gives you the universe?”

– Jacques Lacan (1901-1981)

 

Let me use the cute and baffling koans of physics here to introduce you to French psychoanalyst Jacques Lacan.

Neils Bohr, a physicist, once said, “Anyone who is not shocked by quantum theory has not understood it.” And Richard Feynman is also known to have weighed in on this: “If you think you understand quantum mechanics, you don’t understand quantum mechanics.”

If you think you understand Lacan, you don’t understand Lacan.

This is good news.

The powerful shock of not understanding him awaits you.

***

Jacques Lacan, silverering hair above a furrowed brow. A look of…bemusement? Acceptance? What is that look that’s always on his face? He was born in France, he practiced psychoanalysis. He drew from Freud, yes, but also Salvador Dali and James Joyce, among others. He was adamant that psychoanalysis should be considered science, but also deeply suspicious of science. He gave powerful lectures and treated psychotic patients (patients are distinctly referred to as “analysands” in the language of psychoanalysis). He was and is constantly pinned down by detractors, supporters, and friends alike, all certain they understand him. Unlike many of the other thinkers in this series, Lacan has enjoyed waves of popularity in the US, although he has never made a dent in the collective psyche. Currently in a resurgence at universities, he is clumsily spun into any narrative that anyone wants. Right now, somewhere, there’s a student starting a sentence with “Jacques Lacan says…” Art historian and feminist Camille Paglia has (correctly) cautioned against the overbroad — she might say “stupid” — theoretical misuses of Lacan’s work. Lacan’s friend Noam Chomsky (incorrectly) labeled Lacan an unintelligible and performative “charlatan.”

Instead of “charlatan,” Trickster will do.

Like the Coyote or the Crow of some Native American spiritual traditions (and rather like a Warner Brothers cartoon character) Lacan shows up, sees the mess of the world, and understands and lives through it. “Lacan is a great thinker of disorder,” says Marxist philosopher Alain Badiou. Lacan’s work confuses us with its strange wording and schematics, not because he intends (like many who are influenced by him) to use jargon, but because he wants to keep his integrity intact. “I don’t boast of making sense. Not the contrary either,” he says; an amplification of Whitman’s famous line, “Do I contradict myself? Fine, I contradict myself. I am vast, I contain multitudes.” At the end of his life, Lacan works to dissemble his theories. Again, like a cartoon character: disappearing into his own cape, or, as Badiou puts it, Lacan “undoes by himself the knot of his own existence.”

If it seems like I’ve been spending a lot of time qualifying Lacan’s difficulty, it’s not out of apology. I’m highlighting a key tenet of his work: the discomfort of not-knowing, and just how much frustration we feel when we can’t understand others or the world. It’s intolerable, isn’t it? We want to know what it is people think and want from us; our parents, our lovers, our therapists, our bosses, even the authors we read. If we don’t get what an author is writing about, we say they’re “bullshit” or if we don’t get what a lover wants, we say he or she is “fickle” or “crazy.” We dismiss what we don’t understand with a phony gesture of total understanding.

To counter this, I’m not invested in who is “correct” about Lacan (and that includes not worrying so much if I myself am “correct,” as certain readers will no doubt try to point out). I don’t need to adopt him as a perfect hero by which to view the entire world, or, for our purposes, sex and culture. Lacan is not someone who is supposed to know everything.

Rather, his work is a living and dynamic system, hopelessly complex and obviously simple, like any living organism. There it is, moving and breathing in front of you, and yet full of intricacies and secrets you’ll never quite unravel. Indeed, to truly encounter it, one must move with it. It is rather like poet and scientist Goethe’s quote about nature, that to grasp it, we must “become as flexible and mobile as nature herself.” In this case, we must be as flexible as desire.

***

When it comes to desire, first things first.

Lacan, and indeed psychoanalysis in general, gives challenge to one of our most basic assumptions: That we are beings of knowledge. In other words, we learn something, it changes our view, we grow and then we learn something else. Any bit of information becomes a little collectible object. Get enough of them and suddenly your world advances.

Lacan counters this. Knowledge isn’t the thing we think it is. In the words of critical theorist Todd McGowan, psychoanalysis conceives “of the subject as a subject of desire rather than as a subject of knowledge.” In other words desire is what leads us. If true, this poses a major problem for political movements and social justice activists. It means that their view of change is far too optimistic. However focused social justice work is on the woes of the world, the implicit message is, If we could just get culture and economics all tidied up, then everything would be all right! This would depend on knowledge being the center of humanity, not desire. If everyone just woke up to new knowledge and awareness of what was “really happening” in the world, the world would be better.

The counter-notion of psychoanalysis is that people don’t want to change, even if they say they do. They don’t want to change because their destructive behavior — destructive to themselves and others — is giving them something that they desire. And to make matters more complicated, in Lacan’s play on words, “There isn’t the slightest desire to know.” Everyone’s world view hinges on keeping behaviors and excuses and explanations as they are. Desiring and knowing are at odds with each other.

What’s more, desire isn’t what it seems. Desire is an active organizing principle. It exists before the object of desire. Put simply, desire is happening in us all the time, arranging our personality, world view, and behavior. We experience our desire when it finds something to focus on. It could be a new car or a big bicep or a word of approval. When we get what we desire, we’re frustrated, because desire can’t be ameliorated. You probably know someone who has gotten her dream job, only to find herself frustrated with it. Or someone who keeps moving to new locations, believing that surely this will be the perfect place for him, only to find himself drawn again to a new perfect spot. When it comes to sexual experiences, they may be pleasurable, but now think of how frustrating they are when we expect them to satisfy our desire for sexual experiences or to be a cosmic encounter where all we feel is love and transcendent ecstasy.

In other words, once we get what we want, we can’t want it anymore.

Or we see that it’s not really what we wanted after all. Either way, disappointment, and we search again.

For Lacan, changing the world requires not just action, but changing, or discovering, or creating the self. That work requires moving with the current of an individual’s desire. “Current.” Desire is a movement, not a thing. So, like trying to see the rushing movement of water rather than the water itself (which, even when still, is nearly invisible), it takes an extraordinary capacity. One must peer into his or her own unconscious, and this can almost never be done alone. That is the function of psychoanalysis.

One technique for doing this work is paying attention to words. For Lacan, everyone’s unconscious is a language. It’s not made up of English or whatever words we use on the surface – it’s a language of associations and images, connections and gravities. The words we use are a sort of indicator of what’s going on, signposts in an vast and unknowable landscape. Words point to images, associations, and more, that are not on the surface of understanding. Thus, the famous “Freudian slip,” in which the analyst focuses on a word that comes out in error. Lacanian analysts also focus on repeated words. Why, for example, is an analysand always saying “forced” when he could be saying “coerced,” “pressured,” “pushed into?”), and words that sound similar. When someone says again and again, “I just want to be heard by my partner!” and always find themselves unsatisfied by their tone deaf lover, are they perhaps saying, “I just want to be hurt?”

Everyone’s unconscious is totally individual, and so requires a different mapping. When you read the word “cat” for example, why should you envision the cat you envision, and not the one I do? What brought you to your image? And what about all the associated feelings you have with it? And how would you describe that image and those feelings? What words would you use for those?

You can imagine the implications here for all the words we use for sex, as well as the associative erotic images and feelings.

Part of why the images and feelings arise is because they’re structured by forces outside of us. When we want something, for example, it’s often because we’re thinking about what others want of us. We’re imagining these people, imagining them even if they’re standing in the room with us. We’re puzzling out what their desires and demands are. We want to know what they want from us. For instance, we think: She wants me to appease her, so I’ll ask her if she wants me to get her anything from the store or He wants me to submit to him because he’s always angry, but I will never do what he wants!

Lacan doesn’t stop his interrogation there, though. He points out that we think people want this or that from us because we relate to the world through an even bigger Other. We believe what we believe about what other people want based on the way that we think the world works.

***

Yes, complicated!

For Lacan, every shade of thought, every gesture of behavior has its own distinct reality. This is a great compliment he pays us: our lives aren’t day-to-day, but inexhaustible. We might look at ourselves and motivations and think, not much to it! But through Lacan’s understanding, a whole varied, textured, and layered portrait appears. No wonder he was interested in Joyce, who, in Ulysses, revealed that a single ordinary day was also and always a mythic saga of consciousness.

We are beings of desire, not knowledge.

Desire is not a thing, but a gesture of being.

Our words give indications of our unconscious and our desire.

We don’t know why we use the words we do.

We want what we want because we’re thinking of what others want from us.

And we’re thinking of others in a certain way because we’re imagining a them in relation to an even bigger Other.

What that means is that in a way, our unconscious isn’t some totally static object that’s somewhere inside our brain. Instead, it’s something that happens to and through us. In that frantic swirling chaos of happenings, what do we do? We try to make sense of it.

The way we make sense of the world is our foundational illusion. It’s paranoid.

Imagine the stereotypical image of the conspiracy theorist, sitting in his bedroom. He’s sweaty, of course, he hasn’t left his house in awhile. On his wall are all sorts of photos. Between them, strings connecting one photo to the next, to the next. When his phone rings, it’s because someone is after him. Is it the government? When he answers, it’s just a telemarketer. But wait, he knows that the telemarketer is actually a secret agent posing as a telemarketer. Next time, he won’t answer because he knows why they’re calling him.

This is how we all encounter the world. The key differences between a non-paranoid person and a paranoid one are that the paranoid person’s ego is on the surface, evinced by all his behavior, rather than hiding; and also that someone who does not exhibit psychosis in a paranoid way simply exhibits less certainty in her convictions. But the fact remains: All of us are always threading the dots, creating connective tissue, making correlations.

Paranoia is an x-ray of a “normal” person’s mind.

This is why Lacan is so important to understanding sex, because our ideas of sex – which are, after all, intimately connected to desire on every level – are delusional. Our feelings about sex are totally attached to a nearly psychotic level of certainty. What is more common about sexuality than claiming to know what it is we prefer? We like what we like. “I can’t control what I’m attracted to,” people say. “I’m not into that.” The contours of most people’s sexualities are fixed by what we think others want: The state, our parents, our lovers, the person we’re hitting on, who “society” tells us is attractive, and more. Even people who are not certain about what they may or may not want sexually are often totally certain about what they could or could not do.

And when it comes to relationships, we are often at our most paranoid. Not just when we look through a lover’s texts, convinced he or she is cheating on us, and finding ourselves unsatisfied when there isn’t any evidence of that, but in the desperate work of assessing.

Here’s a sequence to explore that: I spend a Monday night one a date with a guy. It’s interesting, though not passionate. I see him again Wednesday and we have sex, and then I see him again on Friday but he makes me angry. Even though he’s made me angry, I decide to see him again anyway the next Tuesday. All along, I’m in a perpetual quest to pin down the situation with words. I think “where is this going?” and “are we dating?” And eventually, “is he my boyfriend?”

Another way to expose these frameworks: when we go out to bars and events hoping to find “the One.” That one special person.

It’s a reenactment of P.D. Eastman’s children’s book Are You My Mother?, a title just waiting for psychoanalytic dissection. In it, a lost baby bird wanders around asking other animals and even objects if they are his mother. In the book’s climax, the fledgling interrogates a steam shovel, which, though terrifying, reveals to him the ridiculousness of his question and lifts him back into his nest.

The person questing for meaning at the bar looks at everyone he meets, sizing them up. Is this “the One?” No. What about this person? No. What about…?

No wonder the question of the One can haunt us long after we get into a relationship. Did we choose properly?

We’re all performing this paranoid structure, it’s just that most of us don’t know we’re performing it. The job of the analyst isn’t to “cure” the person of their ego structure and somehow make them totally authentic. Instead, Lacan wishes an adventure on the analysand: What happens when you drop the connections you’re making and start to regroup your fundamental fantasy about how the world works?

Far from the desexualized stereotype that some critics place on him, Lacan wanted people to experience the true movement and fluidity of their desire.

“There is no sexual relationship,” he stated. We don’t ever really encounter each other during sex because there’s so much regulating the interaction, particularly our ideas of sex/gender/man/woman. By the time we get to the bedroom, it’s already too late to meet another human being. “One can no more speak of ‘woman’ than of ‘man’ without …invalidating in advance any conceptualization,” declared French feminist writer Helene Cixous. Lacan might agree and add, “Or speak of any sexual advance either.” In sex, we only meet each other, instead, as “partial objects.” That is, we encounter whatever aspect it is that we can handle. Objectification is not the same as dehumanization. Indeed, for Lacan, it is an intrinsic part of the sexual process. The question that needs to be answered isn’t “How do we not objectify?” but “Why would I want to do anything else?” Desire will lead you to releasing all the false objects of desire that you think will please you. Follow it, and you won’t ever see other people the same way again.

“The only thing,” Lacan stated, “of which one can be guilty is of having given ground relative to one’s desire.”

He didn’t try to dissuade anyone from their desires (and as such was one of the first psychoanalysts to work with people who identified as homosexual without trying to change them). What he wanted instead, was for people to confront what they swore up and down was “real,” because it was precisely what they were using to avoid what might be truer. To put it in the words of theological writer GK Chesterton, “the vision is always solid and reliable. The vision is always a fact. It is the reality that is often a fraud.” The desire is the truth, if there is such a thing.

*

 

Next Up: Sex Radicals Today

*

Sources

 

Badiou, Alain and Elisabeth Roudinesco. Jacques Lacan, Past and Present: A Dialogue.

            New York: Columbia University Press, 2014.

 

Lacan, Jacques. The Seminar of Jacques Lacan: On Feminine Sexuality, the Limits of Love

            and Knowledge (Encore). New York: W.W. Norton & Company, 1998.

 

Lacan, Jacques. Écrits: The First Complete Edition in English. New York: W.W. Norton &

            Company, 2006.

 

McGowan, Todd. Enjoying What We Don’t Have: The Political Project of Psychoanalysis.

            Lincoln: University of Nebraska Press, 2013.

 

Rogers, Annie. The Unsayable: The Hidden Language of Trauma. New York: Ballantine, 2007.

 

Zizek, Slavoj. How To Read Lacan. New York: W.W. Norton & Company, 2007.

 

NoSubject.com. Entire site. Web.

 

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The Therapeutic Value of Ayahuasca
My best description of the impact of ayahuasca is that it’s a rocket boost to psychospiritual growth and unfolding, my professional specialty during my thirty-five years of private practice.

 

Microdosing Ayahuasca: Common Dosage Explained
What is ayahuasca made of and what is considered a microdose? Explore insights with an experienced Peruvian brewmaster and learn more about this practice.

 

Ayahuasca Makes Neuron Babies in Your Brain
Researchers from Beckley/Sant Pau Research Program have shared the latest findings in their study on the effects of ayahuasca on neurogenesis.

 

The Fatimiya Sufi Order and Ayahuasca
In this interview, the founder of the Fatimiya Sufi Order,  N. Wahid Azal, discusses the history and uses of plant medicines in Islamic and pre-Islamic mystery schools.

 

Consideration Ayahuasca for Treatment of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Research indicates that ayahuasca mimics mechanisms of currently accepted treatments for PTSD. In order to understand the implications of ayahuasca treatment, we need to understand how PTSD develops.

 

Brainwaves on Ayahuasca: A Waking Dream State
In a study researchers shared discoveries showing ingredients found in Ayahuasca impact the brainwaves causing a “waking dream” state.

 

Cannabis and Ayahuasca: Mixing Entheogenic Plants
Cannabis and Ayahuasca: most people believe they shouldn’t be mixed. Read this personal experience peppered with thoughts from a pro cannabis Peruvian Shaman.

 

Ayahuasca Retreat 101: Everything You Need to Know to Brave the Brew
Ayahuasca has been known to be a powerful medicinal substance for millennia. However, until recently, it was only found in the jungle. Word of its deeply healing and cleansing properties has begun to spread across the world as many modern, Western individuals are seeking spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical well-being. More ayahuasca retreat centers are emerging in the Amazon and worldwide to meet the demand.

 

Ayahuasca Helps with Grief
A new study published in psychopharmacology found that ayahuasca helped those suffering from the loss of a loved one up to a year after treatment.

 

Ayahuasca Benefits: Clinical Improvements for Six Months
Ayahuasca benefits can last six months according to studies. Read here to learn about the clinical improvements from drinking the brew.

 

Ayahuasca Culture: Indigenous, Western, And The Future
Ayahuasca has been use for generations in the Amazon. With the rise of retreats and the brew leaving the rainforest how is ayahuasca culture changing?

 

Ayahuasca Guide: Effects, Common Uses, Safety
The Amazonian brew, Ayahuasca has a long history and wide use. Read our guide to learn all about the tea from its beginnings up to modern-day interest.

 

Ayahuasca and the Godhead: An Interview with Wahid Azal of the Fatimiya Sufi Order
Wahid Azal, a Sufi mystic of The Fatimiya Sufi Order and an Islamic scholar, talks about entheogens, Sufism, mythology, and metaphysics.

 

Ayahuasca and the Feminine: Women’s Roles, Healing, Retreats, and More
Ayahuasca is lovingly called “grandmother” or “mother” by many. Just how feminine is the brew? Read to learn all about women and ayahuasca.

What Is the Standard of Care for Ketamine Treatments?
Ketamine therapy is on the rise in light of its powerful results for treatment-resistant depression. But, what is the current standard of care for ketamine? Read to find out.

What Is Dissociation and How Does Ketamine Create It?
Dissociation can take on multiple forms. So, what is dissociation like and how does ketamine create it? Read to find out.

Having Sex on Ketamine: Getting Physical on a Dissociative
Curious about what it could feel like to have sex on a dissociate? Find out all the answers in our guide to sex on ketamine.

Special K: The Party Drug
Special K refers to Ketamine when used recreationally. Learn the trends as well as safety information around this substance.

Kitty Flipping: When Ketamine and Molly Meet
What is it, what does it feel like, and how long does it last? Read to explore the mechanics of kitty flipping.

Ketamine vs. Esketamine: 3 Important Differences Explained
Ketamine and esketamine are used to treat depression. But what’s the difference between them? Read to learn which one is right for you: ketamine vs. esketamine.

Guide to Ketamine Treatments: Understanding the New Approach
Ketamine is becoming more popular as more people are seeing its benefits. Is ketamine a fit? Read our guide for all you need to know about ketamine treatments.

Ketamine Treatment for Eating Disorders
Ketamine is becoming a promising treatment for various mental health conditions. Read to learn how individuals can use ketamine treatment for eating disorders.

Ketamine Resources, Studies, and Trusted Information
Curious to learn more about ketamine? This guide includes comprehensive ketamine resources containing books, studies and more.

Ketamine Guide: Effects, Common Uses, Safety
Our ultimate guide to ketamine has everything you need to know about this “dissociative anesthetic” and how it is being studied for depression treatment.

Ketamine for Depression: A Mental Health Breakthrough
While antidepressants work for some, many others find no relief. Read to learn about the therapeutic uses of ketamine for depression.

Ketamine for Addiction: Treatments Offering Hope
New treatments are offering hope to individuals suffering from addiction diseases. Read to learn how ketamine for addiction is providing breakthrough results.

Microdosing Ketamine & Common Dosages Explained
Microdosing, though imperceivable, is showing to have many health benefits–here is everything you want to know about microdosing ketamine.

How to Ease a Ketamine Comedown
Knowing what to expect when you come down from ketamine can help integrate the experience to gain as much value as possible.

How to Store Ketamine: Best Practices
Learn the best ways how to store ketamine, including the proper temperature and conditions to maximize how long ketamine lasts when stored.

How To Buy Ketamine: Is There Legal Ketamine Online?
Learn exactly where it’s legal to buy ketamine, and if it’s possible to purchase legal ketamine on the internet.

How Long Does Ketamine Stay in Your System?
How long does ketamine stay in your system? Are there lasting effects on your body? Read to discover the answers!

How Ketamine is Made: Everything You Need to Know
Ever wonder how to make Ketamine? Read our guide to learn everything you need to know about the procedures of how Ketamine is made.

Colorado on Ketamine: First Responders Waiver Programs
Fallout continues after Elijah McClain. Despite opposing recommendations from some city council, Colorado State Health panel recommends the continued use of ketamine by medics for those demonstrating “excited delirium” or “extreme agitation”.

Types of Ketamine: Learn the Differences & Uses for Each
Learn about the different types of ketamine and what they are used for—and what type might be right for you. Read now to find out!

Kitty Flipping: When Ketamine and Molly Meet
What is it, what does it feel like, and how long does it last? Read to explore the mechanics of kitty flipping.

MDMA & Ecstasy Guide: Effects, Common Uses, Safety
Our ultimate guide to MDMA has everything you want to know about Ecstasy from how it was developed in 1912 to why it’s being studied today.

How To Get the Most out of Taking MDMA as a Couple
Taking MDMA as a couple can lead to exciting experiences. Read here to learn how to get the most of of this love drug in your relationship.

Common MDMA Dosage & Microdosing Explained
Microdosing, though imperceivable, is showing to have many health benefits–here is everything you want to know about microdosing MDMA.

Having Sex on MDMA: What You Need to Know
MDMA is known as the love drug… Read our guide to learn all about sex on MDMA and why it is beginning to makes its way into couple’s therapy.

How MDMA is Made: Common Procedures Explained
Ever wonder how to make MDMA? Read our guide to learn everything you need to know about the procedures of how MDMA is made.

Hippie Flipping: When Shrooms and Molly Meet
What is it, what does it feel like, and how long does it last? Explore the mechanics of hippie flipping and how to safely experiment.

How Cocaine is Made: Common Procedures Explained
Ever wonder how to make cocaine? Read our guide to learn everything you need to know about the procedures of how cocaine is made.

A Christmas Sweater with Santa and Cocaine
This week, Walmart came under fire for a “Let it Snow” Christmas sweater depicting Santa with lines of cocaine. Columbia is not merry about it.

Ultimate Cocaine Guide: Effects, Common Uses, Safety
This guide covers what you need to know about Cocaine, including common effects and uses, legality, safety precautions and top trends today.

NEWS: An FDA-Approved Cocaine Nasal Spray
The FDA approved a cocaine nasal spray called Numbrino, which has raised suspicions that the pharmaceutical company, Lannett Company Inc., paid off the FDA..

The Ultimate Guide to Cannabis Bioavailability
What is bioavailability and how can it affect the overall efficacy of a psychedelic substance? Read to learn more.

Cannabis Research Explains Sociability Behaviors
New research by Dr. Giovanni Marsicano shows social behavioral changes occur as a result of less energy available to the neurons. Read here to learn more.

The Cannabis Shaman
If recreational and medical use of marijuana is becoming accepted, can the spiritual use as well? Experiential journalist Rak Razam interviews Hamilton Souther, founder of the 420 Cannabis Shamanism movement…

Cannabis Guide: Effects, Common Uses, Safety
Our ultimate guide to Cannabis has everything you want to know about this popular substances that has psychedelic properties.

Cannabis and Ayahuasca: Mixing Entheogenic Plants
Cannabis and Ayahuasca: most people believe they shouldn’t be mixed. Read this personal experience peppered with thoughts from a procannabis Peruvian Shaman.

CBD-Rich Cannabis Versus Single-Molecule CBD
A ground-breaking study has documented the superior therapeutic properties of whole plant Cannabis extract as compared to synthetic cannabidiol (CBD), challenging the medical-industrial complex’s notion that “crude” botanical preparations are less effective than single-molecule compounds.

Cannabis Has Always Been a Medicine
Modern science has already confirmed the efficacy of cannabis for most uses described in the ancient medical texts, but prohibitionists still claim that medical cannabis is “just a ruse.”

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