Exile Nation: Chapter Three, “The Sweet Moline” (Pt.9)

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August 26, 2005

“L’il Mo” Beecham dropped by my cell late last night to holla.’

“You know we meant that shit we was talkin’ this monin.’ On the real, Joe. It aint no joke out there.”

Earlier that morning (frighteningly earlier, as in 3:00am) while we were on our work shift in the Dietary, L’il Mo and Church and I were talking about gang life and selling drugs. L’il Mo said something about his “enemies,” so I asked him who his enemies were. In order, he explained, first were rival gang members, second the police, and third, people in his community who turned them in to the police.

I proposed to them that the system was their enemy, and that the system was enforced by the police, the politicians, and the ministers in their communities, who in turn were all controlled by the money people, the corporations and the banks. Neither of them said much, but it was clear they were turning it over in their heads. Their worldview existed at block level — neighborhood block and cellblock — but they seemed open to considering forces beyond the scope of their current level of consciousness.

I then proposed that when they killed each other — “thinned the herd” was how I put it — they were playing right into system’s agenda, and were, in essence, doing the system’s dirty work for it, which was to keep their communities fractured and desperate. Then I rolled out “divide and rule” and they seemed to go with it. At the very least they admitted they spent most of their time worried about what rival gang members are up to, and the rest of it worrying about money.

Then I made what turned out to be a colossal blunder, even though I stand by what I said. I told them that they needed to “consider loving their enemies,” particularly those most like themselves. L’il Mo said I was crazy.

“When a nigga shootin’ at you, Joe, they yo enemy fo’ sho.‘  How am I ever supposed to trust a muthfucka who shot at me?”

I couldn’t argue with his logic, and the circumstances were lamentable. Still, I told him that I believed things could change, they could be transcended. Sure, there is a history of hatred and conflict between peoples, internally and externally, but I argued it is not our natural state and we retain the capacity to resolve conflicts. It would, however, require significant changes to the system, if not the abolition of the system altogether.

At that point, I think I lost them.

So when L’il Mo came back later that night, it was to make sure I understood that the situation was dire for them out there, a real matter of life and death. I told him I got that part, that life didn’t offer them many choices, but there still were choices, even if limited ones, and some of them were fundamental to their continued existence. They may at times be difficult, even dangerous or perilous choices, but there was a way through them, if he wanted it enough. He seemed, tacitly, to agree.

“Don’t you want to get out,” I asked him?

“Sho’ do, but the shit aint easy. I been in the gang since I was nine years old, Joe. My uncles are high-ranking chiefs…generals, and shit…I aint got much of a choice.”

“If you could do anything you wanted with your life, what would it be?”

“I’d go to college, and learn about the world beyond the South Side of Chicago.”

Regular people would probably be shocked at how often these young men defy the stereotypes society tries to foist on them. This is not to say that there aren’t bad people out there. Many of them are just straight up punks and thugs, and quite a few of them belong in prison. But there is one reality that cuts right through the middle of them all: gang life is an attractive cultural and economic alternative to a life of soul-crushing, dead-end, wage-slave poverty. And once you’re in, you don’t get out. No pension and gold watch for these cats, they’re lucky to escape with their lives.

I asked L’il Mo what it would take for him to get out.

“Money,” he said without missing a beat, then laughed as if to convey the obviousness of it.

“What do you spend your money on,” I asked him?

It was the usual list: clothes, car, jewelry, weed, night clubs. Everything promoted in Vibe and Source and on B.E.T.

I began to explain, with an ear towards brevity, how the fundamental aim of consumer capitalism is to drain your disposable income all the while making you feel good about it. I explained how it was a measure of social control, and how brand loyalty was entirely manufactured by preying upon your deepest fears and insecurities, that corporations consciously marketed status by equating material goods with personal success. So long as he and millions of black youth like him spent their money — their hustle — on consumer goods instead of saving it or investing it in property and real wealth, they would never rise above their circumstances.

I then explained that this was in no way limited to people like him, that it was endemic across the whole culture. In fact, in many ways the so-called affluent white culture was far worse off, because they were living beyond their means on credit and inflated mortgages. In this regard, they were de facto debt slaves (he dug that one).

“Consumerism does not discriminate by race or class,” I said. “In fact, it exploits both.”

“How you see that?”

“When you buy all that gangsta shit, you make yourself a target. To the police, to other gang members. It’s like you’re walking around with a big sign on your chest that says, look at me, I’m a drug dealer!

“That’s the point, yo. You gotta get yo respect. Can’t look like you aint got no ends, you get punked.”

I asked him if he had ever seen The Godfather. Stupid question. He knew it almost better than me.

“Well, the reason the old mob bosses were able to hold on to power for so long was because they didn’t flaunt their money. They didn’t look like gangsters, they looked like little old Italian shopkeepers. You couldn’t pick them out of a crowd.”

He hadn’t ever heard of John Gotti, so the whole “Dapper Don” thing would have been lost on him, but I tried to explain that once the mob started wanting notoriety, they got noticed, and it fucked their shit up (of course, grossly simplifying the history of the Italian mafia in order to make a point, omitting the role in their eventual downfall of heroin and cocaine, RICO, their past collusions with the CIA, their blood feud with the Kennedys, and competition from other mafias).

“If you keep a low profile and save your money, one day you could walk away from all that shit.”

He seemed to be seriously thinking about it. But then he shook his head and mumbled, “But there are Stones everywhere,” referring to his gang, the Blackstone Rangers. “Somebody will recognize me somewhere, someday. And when they do…” He cocked his hand like a gun and put it to the side of my head and pressed hard and went “BLAM!”   

I asked him what would happen if all the gangs got together, like the five mafia families did years ago, and decided on a truce and an equal division of territory and profits. He laughed and said, “aint never gonna happen.”

“Why not?”

He cracked a knowing smile tinged with a certain resignation. “Cause these niggaz too greedy, and it only takes one mufucka to ruin the whole lick.”

~~~~

I learned today that Krause and the Klansman got split up. Apparently they had a few more dramas after I left. Big surprise. So…dig this…Krause now has two Black cellies, and The Klansman was moved to another housing unit and put into a four-man with three brothers.

Karma sure is a wonderful and silly creature.

 

 

August 27, 2005

“People say they don’t care about politics; they’re not involved or don’t want to get involved, but they are. Their involvement just masquerades as indifference or inattention. It is the silent acquiescence of the millions that supports the system. When you don’t oppose a system, you’re silence becomes approval, for it does nothing to interrupt the system. People use all sorts of excuses for their indifference. They even appeal to God as a shorthand route for supporting the status quo. They talk about law and order, but look at the system, look at the present social ‘order’ of society. Do you see God? Do you see law and order? There is nothing but disorder, and instead of law, there is only the illusion of security. It is an illusion because it is built on a long history of injustices: racism, criminality, and the enslavement and genocide of millions. Many people say it is insane to resist the system, but actually, it is insane not to.”

–Mumia Abu Jamal, Death Blossoms.


The last two weeks have been creeping along so slowly that I’ve come to see how the stress and anticipation of the days ticking off has actually served to slow time down. It isn’t as bad as being on ice at Stateville, but it’s mental torture any way you look at it.

The days have settled into a structured tedium that never changes. With privacy at an established premium, I try to spend as much time alone as I can, and since I haven’t gotten a new cell mate yet, I am soaking up as much alone-in-my-cell time as I can get. It’s just as well because every time I leave the wing the White Power bloc gives me relentless shit. They make pigeon calls and shout threats and say stupid shit like, “the white man is the devil! Black power!” They have spread around the whole joint that I’m a “stoolie” (I can’t even believe they still use that term!) and told every white guy in here that I “hate white people.” Although absurd, I can live with that. What I can’t live with is that they have also told everyone that I’m a snitch working for I.A. [Internal Affairs] That kind of shit can get me killed! If I wasn’t a short timer, or if I was in another joint, they would have already shipped me on to someplace else. At times, the stress is unbearable.

I know this is part of the big mind fuck.  They’re trying to get inside my head, get me to do something that somehow confirms their suspicions. They’re also trying to make me afraid…at all times. The reason it angers me so much is that I can’t handle ignorance. I try to be compassionate, I try to look at it objectively, but it’s almost impossible. If I say something like, “ignore them, they don’t know any better,” then this other voice immediately pipes in and says, “you aint no better than them, you’re all convicts.” But in my heart I know I am different. And I know too that they are afraid, and that is what helps keep them ignorant. It keeps them from seeing what is right. And as there are so few situations where something can be seen as inherently right, it is here that we have to make a stand. Dr. King once said, “There comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular; but one must take it because it is right."  This has been the guiding principle of my life. You gotz ta keep it real. 

I don’t know if I will ever come to understand what is at the root of this particular sickness that pervades humanity. I can only be what I am and do what my conscience compels me to do. Is that revolutionary? I don’t know. I suppose when your very existence challenges the status quo, and there are high enough stakes, then you will always be seen as revolutionary. But it is also revolutionary to speak truth in a culture awash in lies that has lost its ability to tell the difference.  Schopenhauer said, “All truth passes through three stages: First it is ridiculed, next it is violently opposed, and finally it is accepted as being self-evident.” What this means is that most of the time people will not agree with you, and you may not be the most popular person in the room. And usually by the time that the truth becomes self-evident to the greater body, the damage to the messenger has already been done.

Still…how can I be anything else but what I am? It’s been getting me into trouble since the first moment I could move myself from point A to point B. The bulk of the people I have known throughout my life have never understood me, and I’ve rarely fit in anywhere. I’ve always questioned why things were the way they were rather than just accepting them as is because someone told me to. More often the response to me has been hostile, even violent. The few I have reached I have managed to affect profoundly, sometimes positively, sometimes not. I never seem to do anything in moderation.

Yet each awakened mind I encounter as I stumble through life helps me see that much more that there is hope out there, and that I’m not condemned to a miserable lonely life so long as I offer a penance of peace and compassion, patience and understanding. I know I have years of karma to rebalance, years of misguided selfishness to atone for. My biggest struggle will be learning how to be at peace with myself. If I can right a wrong, my existence is not in vain. If I can learn to accept myself, there is no telling what I can do. Prison puts a cloud around you, but there is a way to blow it off. I guess I’ll have to figure out how.

For so many years all I sought was validation for my ideas, and nearly all the time I got the blank stare, or was told to talk to the hand. Nearly all the limited success I have experienced was because people were attracted to my energy, but rarely did they understand my point of view. I always took it as a sign of rejection that the established order tried to label me “extreme” or “radical” or “dysfunctional.” I simply couldn’t see how they didn’t see the same paradoxes and hypocrisies that I did. I’ve always had the ability to see through illusions and recognize larger patterns. I knew I was right to question things, because I knew I was hearing lies. It made me a very angry, very wounded person, and I nearly killed myself over it.

Today it all makes sense, and prison is what finally made me see it clearly, in its most unadulterated form. After a lifetime of seeking approval, I realized that the clearest sign of my success was precisely in my being rejected. My validation is in my repudiation. If I am raising ire, then I am raising the right issues. Then I am speaking truth.

August 28, 2005

I finally got to sit down and talk with Carl, the “activist” that Yancy wanted me to meet. He had a hell of a story, but my first thought after hearing it, was what the fuck is Yancy thinking? Allow me to explain.

Carl Jones claimed to be serving a 20-piece for a series of arson fires and bombings of Arab-owned businesses on Chicago’s South Side during the mid 1990s. He tells a tale of how a frustrated citizen became a guerrilla vigilante, fueled by the anger he felt towards the Arab immigrant community, who he saw as invading his turf.

“It was after the first Gulf War, and all these Iraqis were coming here and the US government was giving them preferential immigration status and subsidies and tax incentives to come and open businesses in American cities. This was at a time when the inner-cities were all gutted. Most of the Black owned businesses had been extirpated, which left a surplus of cheap urban real estate for redevelopment. The Arabs who came followed the historical tradition of exploitation in the ghetto that had been in the hands of Jews and Asians before them. They opened delis and liquor stores and bought up residential property and became the new slumlords.”

According to Carl, what enraged him most was that his government was willing to give foreigners more advantages and assistance than it would give him. He says he began organizing an awareness campaign aimed at educating those in his community about the rise of Arab-owned businesses, and the need for black-owned businesses, “to keep our money in our neighborhood, instead of sending it to the Middle East.”  He says there was a notable lack of interest amongst the residents.

It wasn’t just the economics of the issue that riled him. Carl claimed it was also the continuation of “the stinging slap of exploitation.” Despite the rhetorical flourishes, his delivery was dispassionate and soft-spoken. It was perhaps that which was turning out to be the most unsettling.

“These Arabs would gladly take our money, and then call us nigger and call the police if we stood outside their store with the merchandise we had just purchased from them. And every day, more of them would come, eliminating yet another opportunity for a black owned business to open.”

Carl claims to have appealed to his Alderman and other community leaders, who told him they supported his ideas, but in the end they did nothing to address the situation. This was what pushed him over the edge. Whatever it was, he soon decided that, without any legitimate force to remove these “racist Arab exploiters” from his neighborhood, he would have to become that force, even if that meant through the use of force. 

He acknowledges “six bombings for which I was eventually prosecuted.” He claims to have been “captured” during a traffic stop when police discovered a large amount of ammonium nitrate fertilizer in his car and put him in a line up, where he was ID’d. He says he accepted a plea agreement of twenty years mere weeks before the passage of the 1996 Comprehensive Domestic Anti-Terrorism Act, created in the wake of the Oklahoma City bombing. He says he’s lucky. Had he been charged after this Act became law he would have been classified a domestic terrorist instead of an arsonist, and most likely would have been in a far worse place than The Sweet Moline, for a hell of a lot longer.

After serving nine years, he said, he has come full circle in his reflections on the choices he made. “I realized at some point that I targeted the wrong people. I shouldn’t have gone after the Arabs, I should have gone after the City of Chicago and the Federal government. Would I have bombed government buildings then? I think so. In looking for a justification for what I was doing, I had convinced myself, that it is the inherent responsibility of all citizens to rise up at times to overthrow a corrupt or tyrannical government. But this time has taught me that there are other ways to go about being effective.”

He still claims to be committed to the strengthening of the black community once he is released in 2007.

“Of course,” he said with a wink as a toothpick darted back and forth in his teeth, “it’s a very different world out there today. Do what I did these days, you gonna disappear down a hole and never be seen again.”


~~~~


Klujtim Sulejmani (“Tim” for short), his cellmate, Ryan Boswell, and my new cellmate, Robert Cooper, all arrived on the most recent shipment from Stateville NRC filling the beds previously held by Ron Ron, J.T., and J.T.’s cellie, who was released the day after I arrived on C Wing.

Tim is Armenian, maybe 22 or 25, from the Chicago suburbs. He is in on a two-piece for multiple counts of forging prescriptions for painkillers, but he looks to be out in six months. He was pretty quiet and unassuming at first, mostly because he was one of the only other white guys on our cellblock, and he was clearly not the penitentiary type. He is frat boy through and through.

Eventually we started talking and got along pretty well. He's smart, went to college, and he reads. He knows a lot about American history, and has a particular understanding of how much the US has assisted Turkey following the formation of the Turkish republic after the defeat and collapse of the Ottoman Empire. Turkey is responsible for wiping out nearly a million and a half of his people in one of the most brutal (and brutally denied) genocides in recorded history.

It is clear Tim was comfortable and coddled out in the world. He has relatively affluent parents and doesn'tt seem to have too much to worry about. His family gives him a lot of commissary money, so he never leaves his cell. He eats all his meals there, and watches endless hours of TV on the small set he was able to purchase through the commissary. Yes, you can buy TVs. You can buy nearly anything you want or need, right there in the prison store. Commissary is an essential part of prison survival…if you have money.

Most inmates are limited to the $15-$30 a month they make from their work assignments, which amounts to a wage of $.50- $1.00 a day. This pittance permits them to barely afford the barest essentials, soap, shampoo, toothpaste, coffee, tobacco. Tim bought enough creature comforts to live like a king in the joint, his lock box is packed to the rim with processed pre-packaged food, toiletries, and magazines. He also unwittingly bought himself endless harassment and hustling from the inmates around him, who ae always trying to find a way to ride his gravy train a few miles down the line.

His cellmate Boswell was busted with a single bag of crack, and with a prior conviction on his record and no money for a lawyer, was forced to take a year. He is tall and lanky and mostly bald. He has a cartoonishly elongated oval shaped head and eyes and wears big, thick glasses that reinforce the ovality, making him look like a cross between a grown-up Urkel and Yrtle the Turtle. He is friendly and funny and absolutely obsessed with sex. In fact, he admitted that both of his convictions came about because he was “trickin’ off with hoes and forgot my common damn sense.”

Robert Cooper is another story altogether. This is his third time in prison, but you’d be hard pressed to understand how or why. Cooper is, by all estimation, totally harmless and the very definition of hapless. Old boy can't’t get much right. He is short and thick and bald, has lost every other tooth in his mouth, and has a prominent snaggletooth which draws all of your attention. All he cares about is cutting hair. He has a kind of aw shucks naïveté and passivity about him you don’t generally find in incarcerated brothers from the South Side. He is also unique in that he claimed not to use drugs, and he clearly was not involved in gang life.

He never really sufficiently explained what his first bit was for, but he claimed he was innocent of the charge. His second bit was for burglary and fraud, which he said was because of his ex-wife.

Cooper was going through a nasty divorce at the time. He said it began when his ex-wife “caught the ambition bug” and “wanted that suburban thing.”

“She didn’t like being thought of as ‘ghetto.’ She wanted to be ‘respectable people.’  And she thought the way you did that was to buy a lot of shit we didn’t need.”

Coop said he was never down with that program. He said he was happy living in his neighborhood and cutting hair at the barbershop where he worked.

They grew apart, and Coop met someone else, and eventually got her pregnant. Enraged, his ex-wife kicked him out. When he returned to their apartment to retrieve his belongings on some later day while his ex was at work, she filed home invasion charges against him. And when he used their credit card, she filed fraud charges. Both, apparently, were in her name.  Despite understanding how hurt she must have felt, her response seems exceptionally vindictive, particularly to take it all the way through to a conviction. Unless, of course, Coop isn't’t telling me something, which is more than likely the case. It always is. No one ever comes fully clean. To anyone.

Coop was on parole from that second conviction when he claims he was stopped on the street and searched by police, who turned up two bottles of vodka in his backpack which the cops claimed had just been stolen from a local liquor store. Cooper swore up and down he just bought them on the street from two Mexican guys from the neighborhood (likely the real thieves) after leaving the barbershop where he worked. When they ran his ID and saw his record they didn’t buy his story or even bother to take him back to the store for the owner to ID him. He was hit with a retail theft charge, lost parole, and was sent back inside with another year added to his original sentence.

Now, either Coop lifted those bottles himself and got caught, which is stupid on a level I don’t think I have to actually state for you to understand, or he got a royal screw-job, because he’s an ex-con. The funny thing is, both scenarios are equally plausible. The record does matter. The minute anyone sees that, whether its the police or a prospective employer or landlord, you’re automatically in another category. With ex-offenders, guilt is assumed, regardless of circumstance. You disagree? Well, watch the news for a week. See how they treat suspects or "persons of interest" with a record, how they say “…and the suspect is a convicted felon…” In those cases, often times the only concern of the police is gathering as much proof as they can get, even if it needs to be manufactured; he's an ex-con, you know, he ain’t Michael Jordan, what difference does it make?

The real problem, though, is mandatory sentencing.  That’s what Judge Epstein told me, “there’s nothing I can do, my hands are tied, the guidelines are clear.” I have a feeling that if judges had discretion to consider each case on its individual merit, instead of being forced to follow the mandatory guidelines that constrain them, they would have found much more productive uses for inmates like me and Cooper and Boswell, or Ron-Ron, or Sandy, or David, or Smitty, or Pee-Wee, etc etc. I’m even willing to defend Tim’s right to have treatment instead of prison, since his worst crime was forging a prescription. As it was, we were wasting everyone’s time and money, ours included, sitting around, taking up space, consuming resources.

The point is moot to Cooper. He took it all in stride, in a kind of shrugging, whatta ya gonna do manner. He's just happy he gets to spend his days cutting hair in the prison barbershop.

~~~~

NEXT WEEK: Chapter three concludes with "Katrina's Unscheduled Visit," an essay about the experience of watching Hurricaine Katrina unfold while behind bars.

~~~~

Previous Chapters:

  • Introduction
  • Chapter One, "Dead Time"
  • Chapter Two, "Hotel Hell"
  • The beginning of Chapter Three, "The Sweet Moline" 

Read them now or visit the Exile Nation home page.

Follow ExileNation on Facebook and Twitter. 

Exile Nation copyright© 2010 Charles Shaw. "The Sweet Moline" copyright © 2005, 2010 All rights reserved.

Charles Shaw's work has appeared in Alternet, Alternative Press Review, Conscious Choice, Common Ground, Grist, Guerrilla News Network, Huffington Post, In These Times, Newtopia, The New York Times, openDemocracy, Planetizen, Punk Planet, Reality Sandwich, San Diego Uptown News, Scoop, Shift, Truthout, The Witness, YES!, and Znet. He was a Contributing Author to the 2008 Shift Report from the Institute for Noetic Sciences, and in Planetizen's Contemporary Debates in Urban Planning (2007, Island Press). In 2009 he was recognized by the San Diego Press Club for excellence in journalism.

Charlesis the Director of the Exile Nation Unheard Voices Story Prioject (coming Spring 2010), and Editor of the Dictionaryof Ethical Politics, collaborative projects of Resurgence, openDemocracy, and the Tedworth Trust. He is the former Editorial Director of Conscious Enlightenment Publishing (Conscious Choice, Common Ground, Whole Life Times, and Seattle's Conscious Choice), the founder and publisher of Newtopia,former head writer for the nationally syndicated radio show Reality Checks, former Senior Staff Writer for The Next American City, and a Contributing Editor for Worldchanging.

A long-time activist and former official for the Green Party of the US, he is a native of Chicago who lives on the West Coast…for now.

 

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How does our brain differentiate between what’s real and what’s not? Read to learn what can 5-MeO-DMT show us about consciousness.

How to Smoke DMT: Processes Explained
There are many ways to smoke DMT and we’ve outlined some of the best processes to consider before embarking on your journey.

How to Ground After DMT
Knowing what to expect from a DMT comedown can help you integrate the experience to gain as much value as possible from your journey.

How To Get DMT
What kind of plants contain DMT? Are there other ways to access this psychedelic? Read on to learn more about how to get DMT.

How DMT is Made: Everything You Need to Know
Ever wonder how to make DMT? Read our guide to learn everything you need to know about the procedures of how DMT is made.

Having Sex on DMT: What You Need to Know
Have you ever wondered about sex on DMT? Learn how the God Molecule can influence your intimate experiences.

Does the Human Brain Make DMT? 
With scientific evidence showing us DMT in the brain, what can we conclude it is there for? Read on to learn more.

How to Use DMT Vape Pens
Read to learn all about DMT vape pens including: what to know when vaping, what to expect when purchasing a DMT cartridge, and vaping safely.

DMT Resources
This article is a comprehensive DMT resource providing extensive information from studies, books, documentaries, and more. Check it out!

Differentiating DMT and Near-Death Experiences
Some say there are similarities between a DMT trip and death. Read our guide on differentiating DMT and near-death experiences to find out.

DMT Research from 1956 to the Edge of Time
From a representative sample of a suitably psychedelic crowd, you’d be hard pressed to find someone who couldn’t tell you all about Albert Hofmann’s enchanted bicycle ride after swallowing what turned out to be a massive dose of LSD. Far fewer, however, could tell you much about the world’s first DMT trip.

The Ultimate Guide to DMT Pricing
Check out our ultimate guide on DMT pricing to learn what to expect when purchasing DMT for your first time.

DMT Milking | Reality Sandwich
Indigenous cultures have used 5-MeO-DMT for centuries. With the surge in demand for psychedelic toad milk, is DMT Milking harming the frogs?

Why Does DMT Pervade Nature?
With the presence of DMT in nature everywhere – including human brains – why does it continue to baffle science?

DMT Substance Guide: Effects, Common Uses, Safety
Our ultimate guide to DMT has everything you want to know about this powerful psychedelic referred to as “the spirit molecule”.

DMT for Depression: Paving the Way for New Medicine
We’ve been waiting for an effective depression treatment. Studies show DMT for depression works even for treatment resistant patients.

Beating Addiction with DMT
Psychedelics have been studied for their help overcoming addiction. Read how DMT is helping addicts beat their substance abuse issues.

DMT Extraction: Behind the Scientific Process
Take a look at DMT extraction and the scientific process involved. Learn all you need to know including procedures and safety.

Microdosing DMT & Common Dosages Explained
Microdosing, though imperceivable, is showing to have many health benefits–here is everything you want to know about microdosing DMT.

DMT Art: A Look Behind Visionary Creations
An entire genre of artwork is inspired by psychedelic trips with DMT. Read to learn about the entities and visions behind DMT art.

Changa vs. DMT: What You Need to Know
While similar (changa contains DMT), each drug has its own unique effect and feeling. Let’s compare and contrast changa vs DMT.

5-MeO-DMT Guide: Effects, Benefits, Safety, and Legality
5-Meo-DMT comes from the Sonora Desert toad. Here is everything you want to know about 5-Meo-DMT and how it compares to 4-AcO-DMT.

4-AcO-DMT Guide: Benefits, Effects, Safety, and Legality
This guide tells you everything about 4 AcO DMT & 5 MeO DMT, that belong to the tryptamine class, and are similar but slightly different to DMT.

How Much Does LSD Cost? When shopping around for that magical psychedelic substance, there can be many uncertainties when new to buying LSD. You may be wondering how much does LSD cost? In this article, we will discuss what to expect when purchasing LSD on the black market, what forms LSD is sold in, and the standard breakdown of buying LSD in quantity.   Navy Use of LSD on the Dark Web The dark web is increasingly popular for purchasing illegal substances. The US Navy has now noticed this trend with their staff. Read to learn more.   Having Sex on LSD: What You Need to Know Can you have sex on LSD? Read our guide to learn everything about sex on acid, from lowered inhibitions to LSD users quotes on sex while tripping.   A Drug That Switches off an LSD Trip A pharmaceutical company is developing an “off-switch” drug for an LSD trip, in the case that a bad trip can happen. Some would say there is no such thing.   Queen of Hearts: An Interview with Liz Elliot on Tim Leary and LSD The history of psychedelia, particularly the British experience, has been almost totally written by men. Of the women involved, especially those who were in the thick of it, little has been written either by or about them. A notable exception is Liz Elliot.   LSD Guide: Effects, Common Uses, Safety LSD, Lysergic acid diethylamide, or just acid is one of the most important psychedelics ever discovered. What did history teach us?   Microdosing LSD & Common Dosage Explained Microdosing, though imperceivable, is showing to have many health benefits–here is everything you want to know about microdosing LSD.   LSD Resources Curious to learn more about LSD? This guide includes comprehensive LSD resources containing books, studies and more.   LSD as a Spiritual Aid There is common consent that the evolution of mankind is paralleled by the increase and expansion of consciousness. From the described process of how consciousness originates and develops, it becomes evident that its growth depends on its faculty of perception. Therefore every means of improving this faculty should be used.   Legendary LSD Blotter Art: A Hidden Craftsmanship Have you ever heard of LSD blotter art? Explore the trippy world of LSD art and some of the top artists of LSD blotter art.   LSD and Exercise: Does it Work? LSD and exercise? Learn why high-performing athletes are taking hits of LSD to improve their overall potential.   Jan Bastiaans Treated Holocaust Survivors with LSD Dutch psychiatrist, Jan Bastiaans administered LSD-assisted therapy to survivors of the Holocaust. A true war hero and pioneer of psychedelic-therapy.   LSD and Spiritual Awakening I give thanks for LSD, which provided the opening that led me to India in 1971 and brought me to Neem Karoli Baba, known as Maharajji. Maharajji is described by the Indians as a “knower of hearts.”   How LSD is Made: Everything You Need to Know Ever wonder how to make LSD? Read our guide to learn everything you need to know about the procedures of how LSD is made.   How to Store LSD: Best Practices Learn the best way to store LSD, including the proper temperature and conditions to maximize how long LSD lasts when stored.   Bicycle Day: The Discovery of LSD Every year on April 19th, psychonauts join forces to celebrate Bicycle Day. Learn about the famous day when Albert Hoffman first discovered the effects of LSD.   Cary Grant: A Hollywood Legend On LSD Cary Grant was a famous actor during the 1930’s-60’s But did you know Grant experimented with LSD? Read our guide to learn more.   Albert Hofmann: LSD — My Problem Child Learn about Albert Hofmann and his discovery of LSD, along with the story of Bicycle Day and why it marks a historic milestone.   Babies are High: What Does LSD Do To Your Brain What do LSD and babies have in common? Researchers at the Imperial College in London discover that an adult’s brain on LSD looks like a baby’s brain.   1P LSD: Effects, Benefits, Safety Explained 1P LSD is an analogue of LSD and homologue of ALD-25. Here is everything you want to know about 1P LSD and how it compares to LSD.   Francis Crick, DNA & LSD Type ‘Francis Crick LSD’ into Google, and the result will be 30,000 links. Many sites claim that Crick (one of the two men responsible for discovering the structure of DNA), was either under the influence of LSD at the time of his revelation or used the drug to help with his thought processes during his research. Is this true?   What Happens If You Overdose on LSD? A recent article presented three individuals who overdosed on LSD. Though the experience was unpleasant, the outcomes were remarkably positive.

The Ayahuasca Experience
Ayahuasca is both a medicine and a visionary aid. You can employ ayahuasca for physical, mental, emotional and spiritual repair, and you can engage with the power of ayahuasca for deeper insight and realization. If you consider attainment of knowledge in the broadest perspective, you can say that at all times, ayahuasca heals.

 

Trippy Talk: Meet Ayahuasca with Sitaramaya Sita and PlantTeachers
Sitaramaya Sita is a spiritual herbalist, pusangera, and plant wisdom practitioner formally trained in the Shipibo ayahuasca tradition.

 

The Therapeutic Value of Ayahuasca
My best description of the impact of ayahuasca is that it’s a rocket boost to psychospiritual growth and unfolding, my professional specialty during my thirty-five years of private practice.

 

Microdosing Ayahuasca: Common Dosage Explained
What is ayahuasca made of and what is considered a microdose? Explore insights with an experienced Peruvian brewmaster and learn more about this practice.

 

Ayahuasca Makes Neuron Babies in Your Brain
Researchers from Beckley/Sant Pau Research Program have shared the latest findings in their study on the effects of ayahuasca on neurogenesis.

 

The Fatimiya Sufi Order and Ayahuasca
In this interview, the founder of the Fatimiya Sufi Order,  N. Wahid Azal, discusses the history and uses of plant medicines in Islamic and pre-Islamic mystery schools.

 

Consideration Ayahuasca for Treatment of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Research indicates that ayahuasca mimics mechanisms of currently accepted treatments for PTSD. In order to understand the implications of ayahuasca treatment, we need to understand how PTSD develops.

 

Brainwaves on Ayahuasca: A Waking Dream State
In a study researchers shared discoveries showing ingredients found in Ayahuasca impact the brainwaves causing a “waking dream” state.

 

Cannabis and Ayahuasca: Mixing Entheogenic Plants
Cannabis and Ayahuasca: most people believe they shouldn’t be mixed. Read this personal experience peppered with thoughts from a pro cannabis Peruvian Shaman.

 

Ayahuasca Retreat 101: Everything You Need to Know to Brave the Brew
Ayahuasca has been known to be a powerful medicinal substance for millennia. However, until recently, it was only found in the jungle. Word of its deeply healing and cleansing properties has begun to spread across the world as many modern, Western individuals are seeking spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical well-being. More ayahuasca retreat centers are emerging in the Amazon and worldwide to meet the demand.

 

Ayahuasca Helps with Grief
A new study published in psychopharmacology found that ayahuasca helped those suffering from the loss of a loved one up to a year after treatment.

 

Ayahuasca Benefits: Clinical Improvements for Six Months
Ayahuasca benefits can last six months according to studies. Read here to learn about the clinical improvements from drinking the brew.

 

Ayahuasca Culture: Indigenous, Western, And The Future
Ayahuasca has been use for generations in the Amazon. With the rise of retreats and the brew leaving the rainforest how is ayahuasca culture changing?

 

Ayahuasca Guide: Effects, Common Uses, Safety
The Amazonian brew, Ayahuasca has a long history and wide use. Read our guide to learn all about the tea from its beginnings up to modern-day interest.

 

Ayahuasca and the Godhead: An Interview with Wahid Azal of the Fatimiya Sufi Order
Wahid Azal, a Sufi mystic of The Fatimiya Sufi Order and an Islamic scholar, talks about entheogens, Sufism, mythology, and metaphysics.

 

Ayahuasca and the Feminine: Women’s Roles, Healing, Retreats, and More
Ayahuasca is lovingly called “grandmother” or “mother” by many. Just how feminine is the brew? Read to learn all about women and ayahuasca.

What Is the Standard of Care for Ketamine Treatments?
Ketamine therapy is on the rise in light of its powerful results for treatment-resistant depression. But, what is the current standard of care for ketamine? Read to find out.

What Is Dissociation and How Does Ketamine Create It?
Dissociation can take on multiple forms. So, what is dissociation like and how does ketamine create it? Read to find out.

Having Sex on Ketamine: Getting Physical on a Dissociative
Curious about what it could feel like to have sex on a dissociate? Find out all the answers in our guide to sex on ketamine.

Special K: The Party Drug
Special K refers to Ketamine when used recreationally. Learn the trends as well as safety information around this substance.

Kitty Flipping: When Ketamine and Molly Meet
What is it, what does it feel like, and how long does it last? Read to explore the mechanics of kitty flipping.

Ketamine vs. Esketamine: 3 Important Differences Explained
Ketamine and esketamine are used to treat depression. But what’s the difference between them? Read to learn which one is right for you: ketamine vs. esketamine.

Guide to Ketamine Treatments: Understanding the New Approach
Ketamine is becoming more popular as more people are seeing its benefits. Is ketamine a fit? Read our guide for all you need to know about ketamine treatments.

Ketamine Treatment for Eating Disorders
Ketamine is becoming a promising treatment for various mental health conditions. Read to learn how individuals can use ketamine treatment for eating disorders.

Ketamine Resources, Studies, and Trusted Information
Curious to learn more about ketamine? This guide includes comprehensive ketamine resources containing books, studies and more.

Ketamine Guide: Effects, Common Uses, Safety
Our ultimate guide to ketamine has everything you need to know about this “dissociative anesthetic” and how it is being studied for depression treatment.

Ketamine for Depression: A Mental Health Breakthrough
While antidepressants work for some, many others find no relief. Read to learn about the therapeutic uses of ketamine for depression.

Ketamine for Addiction: Treatments Offering Hope
New treatments are offering hope to individuals suffering from addiction diseases. Read to learn how ketamine for addiction is providing breakthrough results.

Microdosing Ketamine & Common Dosages Explained
Microdosing, though imperceivable, is showing to have many health benefits–here is everything you want to know about microdosing ketamine.

How to Ease a Ketamine Comedown
Knowing what to expect when you come down from ketamine can help integrate the experience to gain as much value as possible.

How to Store Ketamine: Best Practices
Learn the best ways how to store ketamine, including the proper temperature and conditions to maximize how long ketamine lasts when stored.

How To Buy Ketamine: Is There Legal Ketamine Online?
Learn exactly where it’s legal to buy ketamine, and if it’s possible to purchase legal ketamine on the internet.

How Long Does Ketamine Stay in Your System?
How long does ketamine stay in your system? Are there lasting effects on your body? Read to discover the answers!

How Ketamine is Made: Everything You Need to Know
Ever wonder how to make Ketamine? Read our guide to learn everything you need to know about the procedures of how Ketamine is made.

Colorado on Ketamine: First Responders Waiver Programs
Fallout continues after Elijah McClain. Despite opposing recommendations from some city council, Colorado State Health panel recommends the continued use of ketamine by medics for those demonstrating “excited delirium” or “extreme agitation”.

Types of Ketamine: Learn the Differences & Uses for Each
Learn about the different types of ketamine and what they are used for—and what type might be right for you. Read now to find out!

Kitty Flipping: When Ketamine and Molly Meet
What is it, what does it feel like, and how long does it last? Read to explore the mechanics of kitty flipping.

MDMA & Ecstasy Guide: Effects, Common Uses, Safety
Our ultimate guide to MDMA has everything you want to know about Ecstasy from how it was developed in 1912 to why it’s being studied today.

How To Get the Most out of Taking MDMA as a Couple
Taking MDMA as a couple can lead to exciting experiences. Read here to learn how to get the most of of this love drug in your relationship.

Common MDMA Dosage & Microdosing Explained
Microdosing, though imperceivable, is showing to have many health benefits–here is everything you want to know about microdosing MDMA.

Having Sex on MDMA: What You Need to Know
MDMA is known as the love drug… Read our guide to learn all about sex on MDMA and why it is beginning to makes its way into couple’s therapy.

How MDMA is Made: Common Procedures Explained
Ever wonder how to make MDMA? Read our guide to learn everything you need to know about the procedures of how MDMA is made.

Hippie Flipping: When Shrooms and Molly Meet
What is it, what does it feel like, and how long does it last? Explore the mechanics of hippie flipping and how to safely experiment.

How Cocaine is Made: Common Procedures Explained
Ever wonder how to make cocaine? Read our guide to learn everything you need to know about the procedures of how cocaine is made.

A Christmas Sweater with Santa and Cocaine
This week, Walmart came under fire for a “Let it Snow” Christmas sweater depicting Santa with lines of cocaine. Columbia is not merry about it.

Ultimate Cocaine Guide: Effects, Common Uses, Safety
This guide covers what you need to know about Cocaine, including common effects and uses, legality, safety precautions and top trends today.

NEWS: An FDA-Approved Cocaine Nasal Spray
The FDA approved a cocaine nasal spray called Numbrino, which has raised suspicions that the pharmaceutical company, Lannett Company Inc., paid off the FDA..

The Ultimate Guide to Cannabis Bioavailability
What is bioavailability and how can it affect the overall efficacy of a psychedelic substance? Read to learn more.

Cannabis Research Explains Sociability Behaviors
New research by Dr. Giovanni Marsicano shows social behavioral changes occur as a result of less energy available to the neurons. Read here to learn more.

The Cannabis Shaman
If recreational and medical use of marijuana is becoming accepted, can the spiritual use as well? Experiential journalist Rak Razam interviews Hamilton Souther, founder of the 420 Cannabis Shamanism movement…

Cannabis Guide: Effects, Common Uses, Safety
Our ultimate guide to Cannabis has everything you want to know about this popular substances that has psychedelic properties.

Cannabis and Ayahuasca: Mixing Entheogenic Plants
Cannabis and Ayahuasca: most people believe they shouldn’t be mixed. Read this personal experience peppered with thoughts from a procannabis Peruvian Shaman.

CBD-Rich Cannabis Versus Single-Molecule CBD
A ground-breaking study has documented the superior therapeutic properties of whole plant Cannabis extract as compared to synthetic cannabidiol (CBD), challenging the medical-industrial complex’s notion that “crude” botanical preparations are less effective than single-molecule compounds.

Cannabis Has Always Been a Medicine
Modern science has already confirmed the efficacy of cannabis for most uses described in the ancient medical texts, but prohibitionists still claim that medical cannabis is “just a ruse.”

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