When it comes to the human experience few things are as alchemically powerful as sex and the ingestion of entheogenic substances. The combination of these two is like adding rocket fuel to the body electric. Used safely, it can blast you to luminous stratospheres of healing, intimacy, ecstatic states of consciousness, and yes, heart-opening, body-quaking orgasms. Used recklessly, you can end up damaging your energy field. We’d like to share our journey into this controversial subject.
Talat: My first encounters with sex and mind-altering substances involved the typical elixir of the non-initiated Western male – alcohol. My twenties boasted a string of drunk, sloppy, and occasionally gross carnal escapades. But that changed when I started awakening to a spiritual reality and the transformative practices of yoga, meditation, ayahuasca ceremonies, and energy healing. Admittedly, Anna and I used some “liquid courage” merlot to overcome initial nervous tension but in our year together I can’t remember us ever engaging in “wasted sex.” That would be like going back to eating Big Macs and chicken nuggets after turning to local organic food.
Anna: I have always had strict reservations surrounding any consumption of alcohol and drugs. This rigidity stemmed from an ingrained mindset of perfectionism, and the need to always be the “good girl.” Despite this apprehension, when I did allow myself to engage in mind-altering substances or sex, (or a combination of the two), I was inevitably met by a nagging sense of guilt and self-loathing. In previous relationships, my partners used these substances to deal with an inability to handle reality and intimacy. On the flip side, I had always wanted to maintain a “clean” lifestyle in order to accelerate my path to spiritual fulfillment.
Talat: Remembering some sensual marijuana adventures with a previous partner, I asked Anna to join me for a few heroic-dose inhales. Before even a pair of pants hit the floor, panic attacks rippled through both of us as we clung to each other shaking on the bed, swearing we would never do that again.
All that changed when I began working with a new ayahuasca group. They had a very different relationship to Santa Maria (what they call marijuana) than my college days of recreationally puffing to The Velvet Underground while munching on Cool Ranch Doritos. After each ayahuasca ceremony, certain members of our group would grow very quiet and then say the rosary before inhaling what they consider to be the spirit of the Virgin Mary (or the divine mother) as a way to calm and close the circle, transitioning back to their daily lives. I began to do this myself with profound results. It altered the way I saw this substance so reviled by the DEA. Suddenly, I found communing with Santa Maria to be a holy experience. Trusting Anna’s unwavering integrity, I asked her if we could give plant-based “sacred sexuality” a second try.
Anna: That experience with Santa Maria also happened to be our first time without the energetic barrier of latex condoms (thanks IUD!). I appreciated having a partner humble enough to join me in saying two Hail Maries to the medicine before we started. After all, a lot of people could find that corny. During sex, I instinctively dropped my usual go-to techniques and traced unusual, thin blue and white patterns of energy that gently pulsed between us. I couldn’t believe it; I was actually seeing energetic colors for the first time.
Following these tiny currents of expanding light, I discovered new positions that I had somehow never thought of before, probably because I wasn’t thinking, but rather connecting with this pleasurable energy, and its natural intelligence, flowing through us. When Talat orgasmed, a shock of dense light (that had been building up) shot up my spine, ecstatically opening my mouth to release the charge. As we sunk into the electric afterglow, I received “a spiritual download” to utilize this creative tantric energy — especially high-voltage orgasms — to focus on manifesting our goals and aspirations together as a team. We practiced this daily and within one week I was hired for a perfect job after months of fruitless interviewing. Coincidence? Of course, we don’t know but we found it a positive omen.
Talat: I had attended some “How to Have Tantric Sex?” type classes in the past, and even practiced it with a previous girlfriend, but none of that prepared me for the delicious sensory overload from Anna. Immediately, I began to see electric blue curls of energy whirling from her and into my abdomen. The light illuminated my second chakra, turning it bright orange, and also green. Golden swirls bubbled up my spine filling my heart until I started giggling happily, unstoppably. Anna was laughing too. I saw vividly how our luminescent bodies make up an entire light-network, or motherboard, wired to receive, store, and transmit divine energy, and sex is one of the best ways to do that.
At times, I witnessed parts of my emotions (and energetic body) flip a “no” switch — no to Anna, no to these new “Kama Sutra”-like positions she was coming up with, no to our relationship, no to the present moment. I firmly opened my heart to a “yes” to all of this, when suddenly the negative shadow receded and bright golden energy penetrated forward, calming and smoothing my auric field. We aligned our chakras, which instantly kicked up the heat, and following the guidance of the dancing energy, a well of positive feelings built up between Anna and me, until a ball of white light launched up from my pelvis and into her heart, and then circulated back through my spine. I had accidentally broken the number one rule of all those tantric teachers — don’t blow your wad and sink your energy. But something else was happening. Anna and I kept passing the orgasm current back and forth through our bodies, building more joyous light between us until we settled down into our post-sex “savasana” pose (as we now call it) to integrate one of the best energy healings I’d ever had.
Anna: We began to recognize the persistent tension of the masculine and feminine energy that existed between us. Many couples keep this energy in the shadow (as this can be incredibly uncomfortable, given that masculine/feminine energy exists in all of us), but with the help of Santa Maria we found an opportunity to explore and celebrate these energies. Upon Talat’s request, we agreed to attempt a “role reversal” scenario, as a way to express these yin/yang polarity. After a 5-minute meditation to ground ourselves, foreplay ensued as I became “the male”, and Talat took on “the female.” I experienced slight self-resistance, but I soon realized how incredibly fun and sexy it is to be a man with a woman, owning and exerting my own masculine power for pleasure.
Talat: I could feel the different masculine and feminine charges of the chakras kicking in like powerful generators during our Santa Maria escapades, so much so, that I suddenly realized I had to overcome some latent homophobic feelings in order to meet Anna’s various masculine vibrations. It occurred to me that this was something every male probably has to grapple with on a subconscious level. Also, that experience of reversing the gender roles resulted in a playful scenario that let me finally release a slew of feminine emotions I had long been suppressing. For once it was safe to connect with my own natural energetic androgyny.
Surprisingly, many of our sessions would pause in the middle of sex for us to go through healing process work. It always surfaced spontaneously, with one of us holding space and listening as the other shared a difficult story, cried, or just genuinely articulated something we hadn’t admitted to each other yet. For instance, Anna had often told me about growing up in a challenging household with a verbally (and sometimes physically) violent older sibling, but her reflections always seemed a bit “heady” or theoretical until during one of our ceremonies, she sobbed and shared from her heart how difficult growing up had been. I suddenly understood just how scary and traumatizing it must have been to face that kind of terror alone as a little kid. I found myself loving her even more, witnessing her story, appreciating how strong and brave she is.
Anna: Our most “successful” sacred sex rituals were ones in which we had no expectations towards what these ceremonies should be. Often times, I would instinctively lay my hands on a part of Talat’s body that was in need of light. We allowed these experiences to not only be about sex, but rather the flow of the ceremony, which created a new version of sex for us, inviting many fresh sexual positions and our wonderful ongoing discoveries of multisensory mini-orgasms — it’s not all about the big rush.
Some things we’ve learned so far during our sexedelic voyage together include how to open and close the space. Make sure to start off with a soothing, safe, and healing environment (candles, good music, saging the room and each other, etc). Getting out of your head is one of the trickiest endeavors in order to follow your intuition and surrender to the flowing energy. Refrain from judgments, keep an open mind, and explore new boundaries. Some of the weirder stuff may turn out to be sensual pearls and unexpected healing techniques if done with love. The breath is key to moving the energy. Inhaling and exhaling rhythmically with your partner can synchronize your auric bodies and circulate pleasurable electric currents. Of course, it’s not all about climax. We recommend luxuriating in the many tiny orgasmic energies that surface and if the big one does come, make sure to breathe, breathe, breathe… up your spine to energize all the major chakras all the way up to the crown.
Talat: It’s also really important to prioritize fun for creating better intimacy. A sexedelic ceremony is more than just sex: some of it will involve sensual physicality while other parts may include eye gazing, breathwork, hands on healing, offering heartfelt praise, or witnessing your partner and their process (and/or your own). Let the frequency of abundance — giving and receiving love and joy — build and build. Instead of holding “no’s” for your partner, create an atmosphere of “yes and” for more spontaneous, wild adventures. And perhaps most importantly, get to know your medicine. Sending prayers or positive intentions to these teacher plants can make all the difference. It’s sort of like having a mÃ©nage a trois with the spiritual world and you want to respect all partners involved.
Of course, it’s probably not recommended to use Santa Maria for sex for those who struggle with addiction and moderation with marijuana. Also, while we’ve been exploring this topic fairly deeply in our home, we are only a number of months in and we have have been purposely limiting our experiences to Santa Maria as our sole sacred medicine. I have made a commitment to stay within my ayahuasca group tradition so psychedelics like MDMA, mushrooms, and such are out of the picture. One of the main intentions of this article is to shed some healing light on a taboo subject in our culture, so we invite everyone here to share their encounters with entheogenic sexual exploration — the positive and negative, the light and the shadow, the difficulties and the sublime moments — in the comment section below in an effort to create a dialogue around this potent study on human connection.
Wishing you lots of love, intimacy, and great sex,
Talat & Anna
Image: “Samvara“by seriykotikon on Flickr courtesy of Creative Commons Licensing.
Talat and Anna have just begun teaching basic “Sexedelic” workshops for couples and singles (Skype or in person). Email Talat(at)evolver(dot)net to set one up. You can also bid on 2-hour Skype class on the Evolver Network Benefit Holiday Auction. Anna is a culinary healer and visionary artist. Talat is a Bioenergetic healer and author of “The Electric Jesus: The Healing Journey of a Contemporary Gnostic.