People often ask me how psychedelic therapy differs from conventional or alternative therapy. After more than 25 years as a therapist—with roots in Western psychology, followed by holistic healing and eventually shamanism—here’s what I’ve discovered through my personal journey with sacred plants and working with clients in my Ayahuasca Assisted Therapy Program.
A Vulnerable Share
Let me tell you something I personally went through. This is a vulnerable share, so I ask you to quiet your mind and listen with your heart.
I believe that awareness is the key to real change. But awareness alone is not enough—it’s only the first, vital step. Once you have awareness, you need to act on it. You need to translate it into everyday behavior—and that’s where most people get stuck.
When you only have the awareness, you may feel like you should act on it, but it’s hard. Often, deep down, you don’t truly want to. It feels like an obligation, not a genuine desire.
For example, I smoked marijuana on a regular basis for a long time. And yes, after a while, I was aware that it was no longer serving me—that I was misusing this sacred plant and its power. I told myself many times that I should stop, for many reasons. But I didn’t truly want to. I couldn’t even imagine what my life would look like without that habit, and that felt scary as sh…t.
I tried every method to get rid of this habit of mine, and for a while, I went back and forth between being clean and then falling back into the addiction and compulsion. I felt stuck, frustrated, and tired of this situation, while my desire to quit grew quietly within me, and I was ready to ask for help and take a leap of faith to create a breakthrough that I truly wished for.
Seeking Surrender
It became clear to me that I cannot resolve this problem on the level of my mind. I decided to surrender, to give over this issue to something bigger, a part of me that is beyond my mind, that is infinitely strong and wise. So when I went for my next ayahuasca ceremony, I had this in my heart. I set a powerful intention, and no, it wasn’t about healing addiction. My intention was to be shown that I am worthy of love, no matter what. I asked for the experience of unconditional love, not the type of love that I need to earn, gain, or become worthy of.
And so it was. I experienced unconditional love, which is my essence. I understood deep in my heart and soul that love isn’t something I need to acquire from the outside, but in fact it is the very stuff that I am made of and from where everything is created. From this vantage point, the idea of earning love seemed so silly and even ridiculous.
I wasn’t surprised by this revelation, because I had believed, mentally, that this was who I truly was. But in the past, no matter how much I believed it in my mind, I still felt unworthy in my day-to-day life.
After that reminder, the journey continued, and I went even deeper. I experienced firsthand how smoking marijuana pulled me out of presence. I felt how checked out I was under its influence—and I didn’t like it. That feeling made me deeply uncomfortable. In that discomfort, I wanted nothing more than to stop. I wanted to come back to myself—back to my power and full presence.
Leaning Into Choice
At the same time, I understood that all this is my choice. I choose to check out and get lost. And I can choose to stop. I can choose my power and my presence instead of feeling a victim of something outside myself.
So I chose.
I have to tell you, it was not an easy ride to take back my power. It was a fight—a fight within me, between two very different parts. One part wanted nothing more than to give in, to check out, to surrender my power to the old and familiar.
That part was pulling me back with an invisible force. It resisted so strongly that at one point, I had to hold on to a tree next to me while sitting on the ground. I felt that if I let go, I would fall back into that struggle—back into my personal hell—and I didn’t want that. More than anything, I wanted to stay present. I wanted to stay strong.
I remember talking to myself and repeating the words: I choose to stay present. I choose to be here. I choose myself and my power. I choose this struggle to be over. I felt that I was on a boat in a stormy sea, hanging on a thread as I was holding that tree.
But I won.
Slowly, the energies began to calm. I felt more grounded. More at ease.
I heard the Mother plant telling me to rise and to take my crown.
I rose from the earth, from the sweat, tears, and vomit on the ground, a bit shaky but grateful and proud. I received what I was looking for. The next part was pure joy and celebration of myself, my beauty, and my power. It was incredible and unforgettable, and it changed my life forever.
I knew that the reason why I could win this inner battle was because I knew and experienced beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am worthy and the power of love is within me. Love is the medicine, love is the greatest power. Since that experience, I haven’t touched marijuana. In fact, I don’t even think about it anymore.
It feels like I never had that habit, I mean I remember that I did, but the person who smoked truly died, and I am a different person now who is present, confident, and connected, and who wields the power of love. She was never addicted to this plant.
Five Reasons Why Psychedelic Therapy Creates Breakthrough Results
Looking back, there are five core reasons I believe that working with plant medicine can offer life-changing results.
1. Understanding vs Knowing
Just because you understand something with your mind, on an intellectual level, it doesn’t mean that you can act upon that understanding. Knowing and wisdom can only come from a deep transformational experience, while understanding is an intellectual exercise within the confines of the mind.
2. Obligation vs True Desire
When you feel you should do something you have already missed the point. Obligation is very different from true desire. Obligation comes from outside expectations, while true desire is born within; it has nothing to do with what others think.
3. Will Power vs Heart Power
Willpower can only go so far, and it normally breaks down when you face great stress and discomfort. But the power of the heart is infinite and all-encompassing. It is through the heart that we can truly heal and transform. This is why talk therapy is so ineffective and unsuccessful in many cases.
4. Separation vs Connection
You can’t heal from a place of separation and fragmentation. As long as you believe that you have a problem you have to struggle with, that you are broken and unworthy to be loved and to receive, you will be. True healing and awakening are not reached by effort. It is something that naturally arises from a place of wholeness, love, and full awareness. Your only job is to find and connect to that place within your heart, but for this to happen you have to go beyond your mind. This is why sacred plants are so powerful.
5. Ayahuasca, the Medicine of Love
It is my experience after 13 years of working with Mother Ayahuasca, that the only true medicine is love. Love is the power that heals and unites us. Love is the force that brings everything together and makes it whole. The Mother Ayahuasca is the most powerful tool I know to help us remember and reconnect to this love that is the essence of who we truly are.
Breakthrough Results
You see, I know from experience why psychedelic therapy is faster and more effective than traditional psychology or even alternative methodologies. Apart from my own journey, I had the honor and the privilege to assist others in their healing journey with Ayahuasca Assisted Therapy when Western medicine had already given up on them, when they almost lost hope, and when they came to me as a last resort. I witnessed many times what you would call a miracle, but I call this healing and awakening to our true nature.
Anxiety, depression, PTSD, chronic disease, you name it, it doesn’t matter what the specific symptoms are because the root cause is always disconnection from love and forgetting who beautiful and powerful we all truly are.
Integration Is the Key
Even though a plant medicine ceremony can be transformational and powerful, it is just the beginning of the process. It is after the ceremony, in the integration, when the embodiment truly happens.
After the ceremony I just described, I went through a period of intensity and upheaval. I continued purifying and releasing everything that was no longer in alignment with the new version of myself. Integration looks different for everyone. In my case, I dealt with intense physical pain that was so strong that it caused me some sleepless nights.
My skin also broke out in a type of hive that itched like crazy for a while, literally, things were breaking free inside as my skin was breaking out. I experienced intense emotional upheaval as well. Deeper layers of an old sexual trauma I thought I dealt with in the past came up with full force. I sobbed. I cried. Then I was filled with rage and screamed out loud.
When I am going through my integration process, I always reach out for help. It doesn’t matter that I am a therapist myself because I know that I don’t have to do this alone. Help is always available, and if you accept that help, your process will be faster and a bit easier.
So I am grateful for my fellow healers who support me when I need support. With even more gratitude, I think of my friends, my community, and my sisterhood who I can always call upon to receive a hug or have a shoulder to cry on.
I am also grateful for the healing power of Mother Earth. Sometimes I just go for a swim in the ocean, and sometimes I take herbal remedies to assist me in my integration process.
You see, it’s just natural that sometimes we give and sometimes we need to receive, so we are filled up and can keep giving. I had to learn how to reach out for and to receive help. I had to learn that I don’t have to always be strong.
And that’s what I wish for you: when you’re struggling, reach out. You don’t have to do this alone.
To all my relations, with love, Nina.
