One characteristic of all life-enhancing substances, like psychedelics, MDMA, cannabis, and many others (such as those in the MMC category, is that they increase sensitivity. Increased sensitivity is a double-edged sword as it makes good things better and bad things worse. And what better time to be more sensitive than when making love?
The different substances have their unique effects, which will change dramatically with dosage. These changes happen in the interacting complex of our physical, emotional, mental, and perhaps spiritual realms.
As humans, we are heir to experience profound sexual pleasure for far more than reproduction. This is a function of our anatomy, in which human males have disproportionally huge penises compared to other mammals, and our females’ luscious clitorises and vulvas are not necessary for reproduction.
Given the powerful underlying neurological, hormonal, cultural, and psychological drivers, mature, loving couples’ sexual experiences can be the most pleasurable known to humans. In healthy, mature relationships, using life-enhancing substances wisely will increase the intensity and novelty of lovemaking across a continuum from mild out into unimaginably evermore exquisitely shared, stunning, heart-healing, mind-blowing, intensely energetic spiritual space journeying adventures.
What might be helpful here is to think beyond the substances more about the personal contexts that affect the intrinsic qualities of these experiences. When a couple makes love, their internal and shared presence merges into a physio-telepathic harmonious dance of power and subtlety. This can be so beautiful, so gratifying, and so deeply bonding. When these are most positive, the process is working as designed.
All this said, having great experiences requires a lot more than finding a compatible body and getting more or less stoned. Since we’re psychologically complex creatures in an often confusing and consternating world, we all have had many difficulties, many affronts to our very sense of Self that have left scars in our psyches.
Our old neurotic patterns around issues of control, abandonment, vulnerability, betrayal, etc, have survival mechanisms. They don’t go away simply because we’ve seen them for what they are. Until these have been mostly dealt with, the higher stages of love can’t be experienced. If a couple with major unresolved issues do psychedelics together, the experience may become difficult. I imagine most of us know stories like this. I had my own when I was younger.
One cannot open fully to another human in profound physical and emotional loving if they have a stash of secrets, unresolved resentments, disappointments, unexplored wounds, and traumas. It is quite new in the human evolutionary experience for people to be conscious that they carry these burdens. My WW II-era parents couldn’t conceive of it. In past eras, few humans have even tried to see themselves honestly and attempt deep healing work. The blatant pathologies we are now seeing on both the Right and Left are currently clear evidence of this. I discuss the ones that have proved most helpful to me in my Radiant Aging book.
The Egalitarian Worldview that came in strongly 50-60 years ago brought new possibilities for human self-awareness. Along with interest in contemplative spirituality, personal growth, social justice, healthier lifestyles, and life-enhancing substances are helping catalyze this socio-cultural development. Now, we are seeing the beginning of an even newer, Integral one that will bring its own gifts to the mind of humanity. (These Stages of Development are a topic for another time.)
The wise use of life-enhancing substances can facilitate significant permanent healing in these kinds of neurotic issues. They accomplish this by expanding people’s consciousness into the layer of their psyches underlying what’s in their usual daily mode of thinking and reacting. When these emotional issues are seen at this root level, the very seeing of them dissolves them. This process embraces fear and anguish and alchemically turns it towards more peace and joy.
If you doubt this, all I can say is that if you had been inside my bodymind when I was on one of these healing journeys, you would know for certain it is true. This is not to say that the more conventional therapies, age-related personal growth processes, healthy lifestyle choices, and some good fortune aren’t necessary in their place.
With recognition, dedication, common sense, life experience, wise friends and partners, good fortune, and perhaps Acts of Grace, plus the new ideas and tools we have, more of us may come to lead a mature, healthier later life than previous generations could.
Suppose you look at your extended family and the last generation or two. Do you or did you see any of them living a flourishing life with mild and few self-imposed problems, abundant joy, fulfillment, humor, ecstatic sex, and more? If the answer is ‘yes,’ congratulations.
We were born with the potential to bring more beauty, goodness, and truth into the world. This is the gift of conscious embodiment. Given that while difficulties and crises will inevitably come, with true maturity we will be able to deal with these with intelligence and compassion. Given that everything we care about, including ourselves, will disappear, may we find the grace to leave this life with a full, rich sense of gratitude and satisfaction for what we’ve accomplished and perhaps with the assurance that even more extraordinary beauty, goodness, and truth are our soul’s true destiny.
