Resistance: a friend or a foe?
You set a big goal. You’re ready to step into something new. But then—a wall appears. Doubt creeps in. You feel stuck, questioning everything. Is this a sign to stop, or is it fear trying to hold you back?
I’ve asked myself this question many times, wondering if the resistance I feel is a warning to let go or a challenge to push through. Over time, I discovered that resistance isn’t just one thing—it comes in two forms. One protects you, and the other limits you. Knowing the difference can change everything. Here’s a deeper dive into the psychology of resistance.
Protective Resistance
The first one is a protection mechanism and intuitive warning that you need to protect yourself because you aren’t safe for some reason. This protection mechanism serves to protect the self and the vulnerable parts of the psyche from perceived or real threats. This resistance is more instinctual and somatic and manifests as an alarm bell going off in your body and your head.
Reacting to a Perceived Threat (Past Wounding)
For example, if you were often criticized as a child, you may develop a strong resistance to receiving feedback and become defensive when you receive any feedback in your everyday life. In this case, there is no real threat in the present moment; you are not under attack, but because of past trauma, you are triggered, and you are reacting from your past, wounded self. This can be a learned behavior, no matter how sub-perceptual it may seem.
The good news is that through healing and self-discovery, you can heal your wounded parts, deactivate your triggers, stop fighting when there is no war, regain your trust, and finally relax.
Responding to a Real Threat (Present Warning)
In many situations, the best thing you can do is stand up for yourself and set a boundary. If you are bullied, humiliated, or treated unfairly, it is appropriate and healthy to feel resistance and anger as a necessary survival strategy.
Stay alert also in spiritual circles. If somebody crosses your boundary in the name of healing or spiritual growth, like humiliating you in front of others as part of a fierce teaching, your resistance is a warning of abusing one’s power and signals a need to protect yourself from this person and situation.
Discernment
You must develop the necessary awareness to discern between a perceived and a real threat. You can catch yourself, take a moment, take a deep breath, and ask yourself: Am I under a threat, or am I being triggered? This is a good sign that you are on the right track.
But not all resistance is a warning. Sometimes, it’s a trick of the mind—an attempt to keep you from stepping into your power.
Avoidance Resistance
The second type of resistance often occurs when you are close to a big breakthrough in your transformational process. It’s your mind’s attempt to maintain control and prevent you from expanding and growing.
When you are on a spiritual path, at some point, you have to go beyond the mind. From the perspective of your mind, this means death. For this reason, it will try to resist this process at all costs and preserve the old and familiar status quo.
Self Sabotage
This type of resistance often manifests as self-sabotage, such as procrastination, distraction, or perfectionism. You sit down to write that book you’ve dreamed of—but suddenly, you’re cleaning the kitchen instead. Or you’re about to make a big career move, and suddenly, doubt creeps in. Sound familiar?
I often see this with my clients, who are excited, eager, and willing at the beginning of their process, but when they get closer to fundamentally shifting their mindset, resistance kicks in, and they want to escape what is to come. The root of this type of resistance is fear, fear of the unknown, fear of the worst-case scenario.
Fear of the Unknown
The fear of the unknown can prevent you from acting for your highest good. It is true that what will emerge might be painful. We are attached to our old patterns because they seem safe and familiar, even though they don’t serve us anymore. It can be tempting to try to avoid dealing with emotional wounds and emerging issues that need attending to.
But how long will you hold on? Don’t get me wrong, resistance is a natural part of the process, but if you don’t take action now, you will be stuck in this pattern for a long time.
How to Overcome Resistance?
The first step is awareness, which is to discern between different types of resistance. This is why you are reading this article. The next step is to act in your best interest.
Practice makes the master. Learning your signals and honoring your internal guidance takes time, practice, and careful observation. It is wise to get professional help when you start working on that. But help is always available, and it’s never too late to start.
Here are some helpful questions to assist you:
- Does this resistance feel contractive and fearful, or more frustrating and stubborn?
- Is it coming from past conditioning, or present moment wisdom?
- What happens when you sit quietly with it? Does it intensify into anxiety or settle into clarity?
- Am I being pressured to override this resistance by others?
Pause, Listen, and Trust Yourself
When you encounter resistance on your journey, take a moment to pause and listen in deeply. Let your body speak its truth, trust yourself, and let your intuition guide you. Remember that there is a time to push forward and a time to step back or say no.
When you do this, you’ll develop a finer attunement to your inner signals, knowing when resistance is your ally pointing toward safety, and when it’s a sign of avoidance trying to hold you back from growth and expressing your true potential.
